What a difference a day makes

Well, for the past few weeks I have really been homesick to move to Texas. I moved out when I was barely 17, and never in those years have I desired to live in Texas, nor have I ever been one of those people that needs constant contact with mom and dad or my family. I've always pretty independent and have loved it. But lately, all I want to do is be close to family.

Well Meg and I were supposed to move in with my coworker in August. But there were a lot of unknowns and her sister might been moving in.. and for a couple of weeks now, I've just had a really bad feeling about it like it wasn't going to work out. These feelings usually prove me right!! And finally yesterday, she told me that it was a done deal and her sister was moving in and Me and Megan were out. At first all I could think was CRAP!!!!! Then about 5 minutes later all I could think was, "This is my chance. I'm homeless in a month. If I don't take this opportunity to move to Texas, I never will. And my gut is telling me I should go."

Backtrack... pretty much every major decision I have ever made has been off of a gut-feeling. Way back when I decided to go to BYU-Idaho instead of BYU... Which major I should pick.... Coming to Utah... All of them were just based on the fact that I felt like its what I should do. They have all turned out wonderfully.. and I know I've made the right decision each time. Because of this track record.. I had a really hard time ignoring it.

So after a morning of almost shaking because my anxiety was too high... I called mom and dad and explained my situation. I told them that I have dated less since I've been in Utah than ever before, so I don't feel like I'm leaving this huge social opportunity. I do work right now, but I'm actually not making that much and I can't justify staying at my job much longer anyway. Plus in 5 weeks or so, I'm homeless!! They agreed that maybe this house with my coworker was the Lord's way of giving me the push to do something that I've been wanting to do for a while and were in full support of my decision to come down. So.........

In August, I'll be living in Texas for the first time in 5 years!!!!!!! And I really am excited about it.

The job hunt is on, I am planning to only be in the Dallas area. I already have a couple of leads (I'm filling out a supplemental application now). Luckily, I gave up the hope of using my degree a while ago, so I will take any job in any field and that helps out a lot. I am excited to find a singles ward in the city that is active and really force myself to go to everything and meet everyone. That is something I didn't really do in either Denver or Provo when I first arrived and I am dead set on doing it differently this time. I am a little nervous, but I am just going on a leap of faith that this is what I'm supposed to do and the Big Guy upstairs will help me work out all of the details.

The ONLY thing that makes me sad about this change is leaving Megan. I have had so much fun living with her the past year or so and it honestly makes me tear up to think about leaving. But I also know that I have to do what I think is best for me. I feel really guilty about leaving on such short notice and forcing her to find a place to live by herself, but I really didn't see this coming. The only consolation is that I am willing to bet she has a MUCH easier time finding a place to live than I will finding a place to work. I know she'll be fine, but its still sad to think about. Hopefully she doesn't hate me for too long.