So this morning I headed over to Carolyn's house. Liz had babysat over there last night and I went this morning to swim and hang out. It was a BEAUTIFUL day to spend at the pool and it was so much fun. Jamie decided she loved me once we were in the pool so I was especially excited that she would let me hold her and play with her. Benjamin was being super fun too. Just such a great way to start my Saturday.
Two random experiences from the pool:
1. Benjamin and I were playing with a toy truck. We were pushing it back and forth. Well of course I pushed way too far and it went right past Benjamin. Without thinking I go 'oh crap!" Without missing a beat Benjamin goes "oh crap!" WHOOPS!! I'm going to have to watch myself from now on I guess. haha
2. Carolyn had brought snacks for the kids. Pretzels, goldfish and raisins. Benjamin was eating handfuls of raisins like the were candy. I kept making all these jokes about how his digestive system should be working REAL good!!!
After the pool, we all decided to go to Sam's. I LOVE a good trip to Sam's on Saturday. We all ate lunch there and then were all walking around, not in any rush to leave. We ended up at the lawn furniture and us three girls and the kids sat there for about 30 minutes while Bryan looked at electronics. Benjamin was eating candy with liz... we were laughing and having a grand old time.
Benjamin started kind of running around.. so I catch him and throw him on my lap. I turn him upside down to start tickling him. As soon as I get him upside-down, wattery-diarrhea poop starts GUSHING out of his diaper (remember all the raisins from this morning?!?). Since he's upside down, its coming out the top of his diaper and and going up his back. It gets ALL OVER my shirt, my shorts, the display patio furniture I'm sitting on.. not to mention all over Benjamin. Just poop EVERYWHERE.
I start screaming OH MY GOSH!! OH MY GOSH!! OH MY GOSH!! Carolyn and Liz are laughing so hard that they can't even move. It is seriously a miracle that none of us peed our pants with how hard we were laughing. They just kind of sat and looked at me for the longest time before finally i was like "GET ME A WIPEY!!! GET ME A WIPEY!!!" Carolyn is still kind of paralyzed from laughing and finally i'm like "IF SOMEONE DOESN'T HELP ME, HE'LL HEAR A LOT WORSE THAN CRAP!!!!" (It's a lot of caps, but I did a lot of screaming in the middle of the store!!!)
Carolyn gets the 3 (count them 1,2,3) wipies out of her diaper bag to clean up me and Benjamin. There is no way in the world that would have ever been enough. There is no way I can wear these clothes anywhere, so I throw my wallet at Liz and tell her to go buy me some clothes. Carolyn tells Bryan to do the same for Benjamin and she and I HAULED it to the bathroom. Unfortunately, the bathroom is on the opposite side of this huge store from where we are, so I walk my poop-covered self all the way through Sam's to the front of the store. I'm pretty sure anyone who was walking down-wind from me must have thought I crapped my pants, cause the smell of diarrhea was radiating from my clothes. Awesome.
This is all the poop that was on my clothes AFTER I wiped it down the best I could. Multiply this by 100 and that's how much was on me at first
We finally make it to the bathroom only to find that the women's restroom is being cleaned and the family bathroom is out of order. So we just stand there waiting, covered in poop. I just kind of put my nose to the wall like a kid in time out and prayed that no one saw me.
By the time we finally got in the bathroom and got Benjamin cleaned up, Liz had bought me some clothes for me to change. She hands me some navy shorts that are too big for me... they didn't have any in my size, then she hands me the worlds largest pink t-shirt. Seriously... imagine the biggest person you know, double it and they still would've had room to grow in this shirt!!! When I held it up, I'm pretty sure it went from wall to wall of the bathroom stall I was in.
But at this point, it wasn't like I had any choice, so I put on my homeless outfit (which cost me 30 dollars by the way) and sported that bad boy for the rest of the day.
Don't ever let Liz shop for you.....
Funniest experience of my life. Benjamin was actually pretty traumatized... he made me hold and cuddle him for a while after that. But I don't think anything funnier has ever happened in the entire world.
